Stairstep boys

Valentine's Day Musings - My Thoughts on Soul Mates & Passion

2012-02-14T13:52:00.001-05:00

I have always been a hopeless romantic. My early years were filled with dreams of finding THE man that I was destined to be with....the one my heart yearned for.

I had this idea that someday he would enter my life and all it would take would be one glance filled with an explosion of longing, and knowing, and passion. In that moment our hearts would be immediately drawn to each other. And we would connect in a way that only he and I could.

If you asked me during the first 25+ years of my life if I believed in love at first sight and in having a soulmate, I would have emphatically answered yes.

I'll tell ya. I was certain that there was a passionate, sensitive, artistic man who was longing for me as deeply as I longed for him. It was a lonely search. And, it was a long search. I never dated in high school & only a tiny bit in college. I was a bit of a late bloomer. It's not that I didn't want to date. It was that noone asked. I was awkward & shy & lacking confidence.

Then after college, I focused more on my appearance & built a psuedo-confidence. And, my 20's became a series of really bad choices & men that were bad for me or who didn't want to commit. But even with my innocence shattered, I held on to this idealized, romanticized idea of love. If anything, I held on to it even tighter.

When I met John, the man who would become my husband, my ideas about love were turned upside down. He was nothing like the type of man I had imagined myself with. Instead of passionate, sensitive, and artistic he was practical, not particularly tuned in to heavy thoughts & emotions, and more comfortable with tools in his hands than with a paintbrush, a pen, or a guitar.

At the time I met him I had worked hard at trying to develop an image for myself as something of an artsy, alterna-chick (probably I figured I'd attract an artsy, alterna-boy). My husband cared nothing about image & was completely comfortable with himself and didn't see a need to have a 'style'.

Music was incredibly important to me. It stirred me, moved me. Yet, when I asked John how he felt about music, stirring & moving were not adjectives he applied.

And, instead of an instant connection or that feeling of love at first sight, our initial dating process was somewhat awkward as we got to know each other. While John had decided early on that I was the girl he wanted & he was going to pursue me, our relationship became a dance of me pushing him away & then pulling him back in again.

I was so conflicted. I thought falling in love was supposed to be easy. It was supposed to be something that just happened. And, I was so confused. Here was a man who was nothing I had imagined. Yet, the values I was searching for - a man who loved God & family, a hard worker, one who would understand my conservative upbringing - John possessed these.

And, I slowly started to realize that these core values, his goodness & patience & honesty, and his love & acceptance toward me far outweighed any 'image' or idealized version of romance that I had created in my mind.

And, ultimately, it was Grace that won me over. When John met me, I was a mess. But, he didn't see me as 'that' Karen. He saw me for who he knew I really was and who I could be again. He didn't count my many mistakes against me. And, during my 'pushing away' moments I filled his ear with confessions that I was sure would shock him and drive him away. But, they didn't. He loved me still.

John's love mirrored God's own love toward me. And, two things happened in my life at that point - I set out on a path of finding forgiveness & healing with God, and I found the earthly love that God had designed just for me.

So, if you ask me today...
Do I believe in love at first sight? No. I do believe there can be intense attraction at first sight, but not love.
Do I believe in soul mates?  That's a tougher one. I believe that God can knit two souls together, but that does not necessarily mean they are exactly alike, have the same interests, the same passions. And, it certainly doesn't mean that they can just KNOW each other without communication & work & sometimes some pain in the process.

Each love story is different. This was my path to discovering true love. What was yours?

Friday Ramblings

2012-02-10T09:39:00.004-05:00

1. I think Denise and I were having the same kind of day yesterday. (Please note if you're new to Denise's blog...Denise is always positive and encouraging in her posts. And, she loves and enjoys her boys tremendously and it shows! She gave a rare peek today into some of the more frustrating moments.)

My day yesterday was one where I couldn't take one more moment of bickering, yelling, name calling, teasing, complaining. I was done. And, by the time my husband came home for dinner the stress was through the roof. As a matter of fact, he had planned to work on our van last night after dinner, but he quickly realized it might be better for everyone if Daddy stayed home.

After dinner I went into the computer room & shut the door so that Mommy could have 5 minutes alone. Well, after about 10 minutes of various children and a husband walking in and out, it looked like everyone was finally settled watching 'Swamp People'. And, my 5 minutes was going to begin.

But, about 45 seconds into my 'alone' time I heard it. Small feet walking into the kitchen. Coughing. Gagging. Oh no! Is that the sound of someone getting sick to their stomach? Yup. It sure was. Sigh. Mommy was back on duty.

2. Hey I have a question for you guys. I love the new 'reply' option that we have in the comments section now with Blogger. But, I'm wondering if you get a notification when I reply to your comments. I know I get an email with my reply, but I'm curious if you do.

3. We got a new filing cabinet to replace our cheapy, coming apart Staples filing cabinet. We found a post on Craigslist for the heavy duty metal, 4 drawer filing cabinets for $20 a piece. OR if someone took them ALL (it was a company changing over to electronic files & they had about 20 filing cabinets) you could have them for $10 a piece.

My husband bought them all.

He figured he could sell them for $20 a piece & make a little profit. I was dubious. But, as it turns out, he was right. Folks from his work snatched them up in the first couple days of him picking them up.....which is good because we wouldn't have had anywhere to store them!

So, the last several days I've been working on transferring files from our old cabinet to the new one, reorganizing & sifting through un-needed paperwork as I went. Quite the job! But, now that I'm finished I feel great!

4. Today looks like it's gonna be a good day! I hope you all have a fabulous Friday & a wonderful weekend!

A Deep Thought & then Something To Make Your Mouth Water

2012-02-07T13:30:00.002-05:00

A Deep Thought....
As different folks that I know have seen my pictures on Facebook & here on my blog about taking down the giant pine tree in front of our house, I received numerous comments like, "I can't say that I even realized that tree was there."

Even my own mother made this comment! And, in case you missed my blog post from yesterday & the pictures that went along with it, let me show you exactly how big this tree was.....

Do you see the gigantic tree that covers half of our house? That's the one the folks just didn't quite remember being there.

And, here comes my deep thought.....Isn't that the way it is sometimes in our own lives. We have this gigantic ____________(issue, problem, sin, etc. - you fill in the blank) that overshadows our life. But, we become so accustomed to it. It becomes so ingrained in us, that sometimes we forget that it's even there until someone else points it out to us.

And when we finally remove that _____________ (fill in the blank again) from our lives, we become amazed at how much more light can come in & how much more we can truly see around us.

Something to Make Your Mouth Water...
Actually, I have two 'somethings' to make your mouth water.

First, is a link to recipe for home-made granola. I found this recipe over at Chicken Scratchings. I had never made home-made granola before. Somehow I had always assumed it was difficult to make. But it's not at all! And, it's really delicious!

So, please go check out Rebecca's recipe for Almond Peanut Butter Granola! You won't be disappointed.

My first batch

The second tummy tempter I'm going to share is a dessert that my friend Lisa brought to a Mexican food themed birthday dinner. These were so amazing that I made them for Super Bowl Sunday.

It's for a Mexican cheesecake or 'Sopapillas'. The recipe is from All Recipes.com ( a site I just love!). Go check it out there if you like. But I'll share it here as well..... It's super easy & very decadent!

picture from All Recipes.com

Sopapilla Cheesecake

Ingredients

2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon Mexican vanilla extract
2 (8 ounce) cans refrigerated crescent rolls
3/4 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup butter, room temperature
1/4 cup honey

Directions

Preheat an oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Prepare a 9x13 inch baking dish with cooking spray.
Beat the cream cheese with 1 cup of sugar and the vanilla extract in a bowl until smooth.
Unroll the cans of crescent roll dough, and use a rolling pin to shape each piece into 9x13 inch rectangles. Press one piece into the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish. Evenly spread the cream cheese mixture into the baking dish, then cover with the remaining piece of crescent dough. Stir together 3/4 cup of sugar, cinnamon, and butter. Dot the mixture over the top of the cheesecake.
Bake in the preheated oven until the crescent dough has puffed and turned golden brown, about 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and drizzle with honey. Cool completely in the pan before cutting into 12 squares.

The Great Tree is Brought Down

2012-02-06T14:50:00.001-05:00

I love trees. A lot. It really pains me to see a tree cut down, especially one with age & beauty. But, on Saturday my husband followed through with something we've been talking about for quite a while now. He cut down the large pine in front of our house.

If this tree had been anywhere else on our property we would have kept it. It was so beautifully shaped. But, it was also too close to our house. As you can see it practically covers half the house. And, it was clogging our gutters and was tangled in the electric lines. We knew it had to go.

Now, most people would hire someone to come and remove a tree this size from their property. Not my husband. He really believes he can do it all (and in most cases he can, I must admit). But, with a tree this size it was certainly no easy feat.

John & his friend Jeremy began by removing branches with the chainsaw that they could reach from the ground. The process of de-branching & then topping the tree was the route they had to go since the tree was so large & so close to both our house & the road. They couldn't fell the whole thing at once. Then John began climbing into the tree, carrying the chainsaw with him, working his way upward & removing branches as he went.

He did use a safety harness as he went higher. But, I could not watch most of this process. Do you see how close that chainsaw is to his leg??? One slip.... Let's just say, God was watching over him.

Those on the ground dragged the branches away while John continued to work on cutting them down. John's friend Jeremy & my Father in law were both helping. John also utilized some child labor.....

If we had been really smart, we would have done this around Christmas-time & then set up a roadside stand selling greens. Oh well. Hindsight.

As branches were being brought down & John was getting closer to topping the tree, the men decided to remove part of our fence, so that when things fell, they didn't damage the fence.

Getting close now. Do you see my husband up there? He said the only time he really got nervous was when he was about as high as the chimney & he was starting to feel a bit light-headed.

Topping the tree. My father-in-law stood in the road to watch for any oncoming traffic & gave John the go ahead when it was clear.

And there he is...quite proud of himself...with good reason! What a man!

Soooo, we still have a 10 foot high de-branched trunk standing in our front yard. John needs to complete the job, but he said now that most of it is gone he should be able to fell the remainder of the tree across our front yard.

He told me that he considered leaving the trunk there to tie the young maple tree to it. The maple started growing a couple years ago & actually could be a nice tree. But, it's growing slightly bent away from our house since the pine had been there. However, I told my husband that in no circumstances are we leaving the trunk for any extended period of time!

So, we're still getting used the the pine not being there anymore. One huge benefit is that we get more natural light now. But, as I said it still looks pretty funny in our front yard right now. We had to chuckle on Sunday morning as we were eating breakfast before church. We could see our horse and buggy neighbors drive by & do a double-take when they went past our house. One actually went so far as to slide open their buggy door & crane their neck out, mouth agape!

My Issues

2012-02-02T09:49:00.002-05:00

So last weekend a group of us girlfriends gathered at my friend Sarah's house to celebrate her birthday with her. We decided to do a potluck feast with a Mexican theme. (And it was delicious!). Sarah is a single mom to 2 boys ages 14 and 21, who were there that evening but pretty much stayed in their rooms with their friends.

As we were setting out the food Sarah mentioned that her youngest son told her the other day that all of her friends 'have issues'. Well! That got our attention. We all wanted to know what this teenage boy had identified as issues in our lives.

Apparently for me, the first thing he told his mom is that I 'have too many kids'. That one just made me chuckle. Sarah said that when he said that she told him that's not an 'issue'.

"Well. And she's too religious", he responded.

Now, when she told me that one I admit I was a little taken aback. Too religious? I wasn't sure whether I should be pleased or disturbed by this assessment. On the one hand, it could simply mean that my faith is evident. On the other, it could mean that I come across as rigid & legalistic in my faith.

It all comes back to the question I've been asking myself about 'How do people perceive me? And, does it matter?' Now, while I certainly take the opinions of a teenage boy with a grain of salt, it has at least raised some awareness in my mind and heart. I absolutely want the love of Jesus to show through in my life. And, I am not ashamed for others to know that I love Jesus.

But I DO want to be sure that it's love they are seeing and not religiosity. So, have you ever been accused of being 'too religious' by anyone around you? How did you respond?

Checking In

2012-02-01T06:56:00.003-05:00

I'm still here. I thought I'd let you know a little of what I've been up to lately...

1. I'm doing a women's Bible Study at my church. It's a Beth Moore study on the book of James. Did you know that the book of James was written not by the disciple James, but by James the brother of Jesus? I didn't.

2. My husband and I are still taking the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace course at church. We've come away from the meetings inspired. But, we still need to sit down and really re-evaluate our budget. We are already debt free (with the exception of our mortgage), but now we need to buckle down and get more intentional about our spending and saving.

3. I've been wanting to type out my testimony for a long time. I've put it off because I want to be sure I'm following the Spirit's leading in what I write. I've been mulling through some things in my brain and plan to add a tab at the top devoted to my testimony. I'm not sure exactly when I'll have that completed, but keep your eyes peeled.

4. A post I've been wanting to write for awhile too is about how I've lost the 30 pounds that I lost. But, right now, my weight loss has kinda stalled & I've 'fallen off the wagon' a bit. I've been more or less maintaining right now. I am thinking though, that if I write that post it can refresh me and get me back on track.

5. I haven't been commenting on other folks posts very much. But, I do still visit your blogs! I hope you are all doing well!

Two For One

2012-01-26T14:14:00.002-05:00

I betcha thought I forgot about ya'all. Nah. I couldn't do that! I've just been cutting back on my 'screen time'. I've been noticing that I've really been having trouble concentrating lately and feel 'foggy brained' a lot. When I spend less time on the computer it seems to clear a bit.

Anyway, I've got something great for you today! Two recipes in one post! If you're the type of person who enjoys hearing about recipes then this is for you. If not, I know you've probably already stopped reading and are moving on to the next blog. But, that's OK. I love you anyway. And, I'll be back with some non-recipe posts very soon!

So, for those of you still here, I tried 2 new recipes this week. Two! This is huge for me. I get stuck in a rut when it comes to meal planning....making the same things over and over. And, while I see recipes quite often that look appealing & I think 'Gee! I ought to try that.', if I don't have the stuff on hand I usually shelve the idea and forget about it.

But, I found 2 this week that really sounded yum. For one recipe I already had everything I needed, and the other I was so intrigued by that I made a special grocery run to get the items I needed. So, without further ado....

Recipe #1

Creamy Crab with Home-made Fettucini

Yup! You read that correctly. HOMEMADE fettucini! For Christmas my in-laws bought me pasta maker attachments for my stand mixer. And, this was attempt #2 at making my own pasta. (The first was home-made pot pie noodles). I'm still perfecting the art. And, I won't take the time to explain it all now. But, if you are curious, I think this tutorial does a great job explaining it.

From that same site I found this recipe for Spicy Chicken Pasta and I followed it almost to a 't'. I made a few small substitutions and changes. Here's the recipe as I made it.

1 pound home-made fettucini
1 pack frozen (imitation) crab
1 small onion, diced
1 red pepper, diced
1 green bell pepper, diced
1 jalapeno pepper, diced (I used slightly less than a whole jalepeno)
1-2 roma tomatoes, diced
6 tablespoons butter, divided
1 cup light cream + 1 cup vegetable stock
4 oz (half a brick) of Philadelphia Cream Cheese
2 tablespoons flour
1½ teaspoons hot sauce
2½ teaspoons Old Bay Seasoning
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

I sauteed the (thawed) crab in about 1-2 Tablespoons of butter for a minute or 2...just until heated through. I set that aside and then in the same pan added 2 more Tablespoons of butter and sauteed the onion & peppers. Then I set those aside. Next, I added the last 2 tablespoons of butter to the pan along with the flour to create a roux.

To the roux I first added 1 cup vegetable stock and then the cream. I heated that mixture. To that I added the cream cheese and once it was melted I added the hot sauce and seasonings. I continued to simmer on very low heat until it was thick and bubbly. I then added back in the sauteed crab and veggies and the chopped roma tomatoes.

Toss with cooked homemade fettucini.

This picture doesn't do it justice, but it was yummy!

Recipe #2

And, just last night I made another new recipe that I found in the Sunday News 'Food' section. I love Indian food, so this one really caught my eye! The author of the column said he found this recipe in a book called 'Slow Cooker Revolution'. If all the recipes are as good as this one, I may need to add that cookbook to my list of books I'd like to own.

Chicken Curry in a Hurry

2 medium onions, chopped
3 T. olive oil
6 garlic cloves, minced (I used a heaping T. of pre-minced garlic in a jar)
2 T. ginger, minced (I used a heaping T. of powdered ginger)
2 T. curry powder (Um. Just realized I think I forgot this! Might explain why it didn't taste as 'curry' as I expected)
1 T. tomato paste
1 tsp. garam masala
1 (15 oz) can chick peas, drained
2 cups water
1 (14 oz) can unsweetened coconut milk
1 T. Minute tapioca
3 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken breast
1 T. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. freshly ground pepper
1 (14 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1/2 cup golden raisins
1 cup frozen peas
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
lime wedges

Combine onions, oil, garlic, ginger, tomato paste, and spices in a bowl. Microwave 5-8 minutes until softened. Transfer to a slow cooker. Add chick peas, water, coconut milk and tapioca. Mix well. Season chicken with salt and pepper and nestle into the onion mix. Cover and cook 6 hours on low.

Transfer chicken out, cool slightly, and shred into bite size pieces (It was SO tender!). Add the tomatoes and raisins. cover and heat 10 minutes. Add the peas and shredded chicken and heat 10 minutes more. Serve over rice. Garnish with cilantro and lime wedges.

Sorry. No picture of this one. But, trust me! It's delicious! I had leftovers for lunch today and it tasted even better the second time around. I realize now after typing out the recipe that I missed the curry in my preparation. How can I miss the curry in a Chicken curry recipe???? I even remember thinking it was strange that I hadn't put in any curry. Duh!

I also almost forgot about the cilantro at the end. If you like cilantro, you MUST do this. It adds so much to the dish.

A Find Along the Side of the Road

2012-01-20T13:52:00.003-05:00

I love furniture....especially old furniture or furniture that has a very classic look. I bring home furniture abandoned along the side of the road like some people bring home strays.

This makes my husband crazy. We really don't have room in our house for more furniture.

But, I couldn't pass this one by that I found today....

These pictures really don't do it justice. According to the label on the back it's a Pennsylvania House Bowfront Chest in Antique Dover White. It's missing hardware (easy enough to put on), there's a large chip missing on the bottom right, and the drawers are sticking a bit and might need some repair.

But, it is heavy! (I'm still not sure how I got it into my van by myself) and the drawers have dovetail joints. It's a quality piece of furniture. Since there was no sign on the furniture definitely saying it was 'free' I hesitated before taking it. But, it was at the end of of really steep driveway off to the side of the road....so I hope I did the right thing.

Now I need to decide if I'm going to keep it or not.

The Unreachables?

2012-01-19T14:46:00.002-05:00

I've been meaning to write this post while things were still fresh in my mind. But, it's been well over a week since my husband and I watched a documentary called The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. It's a documentary that I'm still thinking about.

The night my husband and I stumbled aross this we had been flipping through channels and hadn't found anything to watch, so I was actually preparing to go to bed. As it turned out we had free Showtime that week & my husband had flipped to that. I came in to the living room to say 'goodnight' to him & found myself sucked in.

My first reaction when I saw what he had on tv was "What in the world are you watching?!" because the documentary starts out with the same kind of crazy, in your face antics like you might see on the Jerry Springer Show. I sat down on the couch stupefied but unable to take my eyes away.

Initially, this documentary seemed to exploit every stereotype there is about impoverished 'hill folk' in West Virginia. Cussin', drinkin', smokin', dopin' cheatin', stealin', unmotivated, unworking trouble-makers is all you see at first. It appears that the White family, who is featured in this film, is going to be a caricature and not much more.

And, don't get me wrong. This family is rough. One of the first scenes I saw was of one of the White sisters, Bo (who looks 60ish but is actually in her late 40's), sitting on the couch discussing her favorite drug of choice, marijuana. The camera pans over to her son Derek (who might be late teens/early 20's) who laughingly joins in talking about his favorite drugs - anything in pill form. His mom sits and smiles & laughs along with him.

It's not all that surprising to learn as the film continues that of the 14 total White siblings, only 5 (now middle aged) are still living. The matriarch of the family, 84 year old Bertie Mae, is said to be a Christian woman who somehow managed to raise a family of outlaws who'd just as soon shoot you if you looked at them sideways. The patriarch, D Ray, was hailed as a talented tapper/clogger (in the Appalachian style) and was murdered in 1985 in a shooting stemming from an argument.

Tragedy follows this family closely. And, their lives have become a never-ending cycle of drugs, alcohol, and trouble with the law. But as this documentary continued, something shifted. It went from being almost a laughable mockery to being an in depth look at how cycles of poverty, abuse, & hopelessness are perpetuated. A deep sadness built inside me as I watched more and more of it.

Perhaps one of the saddest things about watching it was seeing the young children in the film. The children don't have one positive influence in their lives. They see first hand all the grit and the horror. Their parents do nothing to shield them from it. It is simply their way of life.

Tylor is about 8 years old in this film. You meet him as he's literally bouncing off the walls in the background while his mother, Kirk, is being interviewed. She is discussing in raw, profanity-riddled detail how she stabbed her former boyfriend. Tylor parrots many of her phrases complete with profanity, which is met with 'Aw. Isn't he cute?' glances from his mother.

Kirk, later in the film, gives birth to a beautiful baby girl (child of the stabbed ex-boyfriend) who is born addicted to drugs as a result of Kirk's drug use while pregnant. There is a scene in the hospital where the precious newborn is laying in her bassinet while Kirk talks about all the dreams she has for her daughter. She pauses to snort some pills right then and there brought in to her by a family member. Kirk and her family seem shocked and angry that child protection services takes the baby and places her in foster care.

Kirk finally realizes she will need to enter rehab if she has any hope of bringing her baby girl home. Family members try to talk her out going to rehab, but she is determined. They give her a grand send-off party with a night of binging on drugs and alcohol.

You do see some very touching scenes between Kirk and Tylor as he realizes he will be separated from his mother. Despite all her shortcomings, it is obvious there is a deep love between mother and son. And, if there is any redeeming quality in the White family at all, it is that there is a fierce love among them. Family seems to be the one thing that means anything to them at all.

The film was produced by Johnny Knoxville (of MTV fame). It is full of profanity, drug use, graphic scenes, and some brief nudity. It's not in any way, shape, or form a Christian film or done from a Christian perspective.

However, it still manages to touch on something important - there is profound hopelessness among this family and among many other impoverished Appalachian families. They see no way out, no opportunity to make their lives better. And, they simply give up. Jesco, the oldest living son of Bertie Mae & D Ray, has continued his father's passion for the folk art of tapping & has built something of a following himself (Hank Williams III appears in the film as a friend of Jesco and the family). Jesco sums up the depth of hopelessnes when he states that he feels like he is already a dead man who somehow is still living.

This hopelessness engulfs the viewer. I came away from this film feeling like these people were truly unreachable. They have some concept of Jesus and Who He is (in a very skewed way). Pictures of Jesus are scattered throughout Bertie Mae's home. From time to time a family member will make reference to Jesus or to God, but they miss the mark so completely.

And, I have been wondering. How do you reach those who don't want to be reached or who seem so far from redemption? How do you reach those who have generations and generations of dysfunction bred into them? How can anything change?

I tried searching the internet to see if I could find something written as a Christian response to this film. I came across things that took a political viewpoint - folks arguing opinions about welfare, pregnancy among the impoverished, etc. But, everyone seemed to use this film as a way to get on a soapbox and not much more.

My initial feeling as a response to this film is that there doesn't seem to be much that a Christian can do. It would take a working of the Holy Spirit to soften the hearts of people so deeply entrenched in a life of sin and despair such as The White's. Perhaps all I can do is pray.

And, don't get me wrong, I believe prayer is powerful beyond anything that we can comprehend. Yet, as I was looking through the Bible I came across these verses....

2 Corinthians 5:18-20 (emphasis mine)
"All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us."

and

2 Corinthians 5:14
"For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all...."

2 Corinthians 5:16
"So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view."

These scriptures seem to call for a more active role in reaching those who seem unreachable. The Whites have given up on themselves. The world has given up on them. But, as Christ's ambassadors, we can NOT give up on them.

I will probably never meet the White family personally. For them, perhaps all I can do is pray. But, is God calling me to be aware of others around me who seem unreachable? We know that God does not wish for any to perish. So, I have to believe that there is no such thing as unreachable.

And, I want to know more of how I can live this verse....

2 Corinthians 4:6
"For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ."

And when the darkness seem inpenetrable we need to remind ourselves (and our enemy) that Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world.

Starting a New Chore System

2012-01-16T15:29:00.000-05:00

So, I'm trying my hand at a new chore system for my children this week. The truth is I've gotten kinda sloppy about my expectations for them. And, they really do thrive on knowing what is expected & having goals to work toward.

I also knew I'd need something fairly simple with very little maintenance required on my part. In all honesty, usually the reason chore systems fall by the wayside in our house is because of my own neglect.

Plus, we haven't been paying our children any sort of regular allowance, but Dave Ramsey said something in the latest video we viewed at financial peace that made a lot of sense to me. There are certain chores/ responsibilities that come with being part of the family that a child doesn't need to be paid for. But, he also recommends having chores that can earn a child money because they look at money in a whole different way when they've had to earn it.

So, here's what I've come up with. I've taken bits and pieces from various sources.

First are the regular/ daily chores (unpaid). These include

Setting the table
Clearing the table
Pajamas under pillow & beds made
Dirty clothes in hamper
Feed/Water cat & dog
Unload lunch bags after school
Put away toys/etc. when finished

Next here are some of the chores a child could be assigned during the week that are paid.

Unload dishwasher
Clean room
Vacuum living room
Sweep kitchen
Clean toilet upstairs
Clean toilet downstairs
Empty small trashcans
Empty diaper trash
Empty kitchen trash
Clean living room
Clean computer room
Mop floor
Vacuum bedroom
Load dishwasher/ Wash dishes
Gather/start load of laundry
Fold laundry
Put away laundry
Spray & Clean bathroom mirrors & sink
Sweep & Mop Bathroom Upstairs
Sweep & Mop Bathroom Downstairs
Wipe down chairs

As my boys get older & more responsible more chores will move into the regular/ expected chores.

Here's the system I'm going to try to manage the chores

Each day I will clip a paper to the refrigerator for each boy. On it I will write which of the pay chores I'd like them to do that day (2-5 chores depending on what needs done, if we have plans later that night, etc.). Each boy is responsible for checking off each chore as it's completed (some may require mom inspection prior to checkoff).
Daily chores & Pay chores & Homework need to be completed by 7:00 that evening. If they aren't, that child will lose their screen time for the following day or have mom choose one more chore to complete that night. They still need to complete any unfinished tasks that evening.
On Saturdays, chores need to be completed by noon.
Each pay chore is worth 25 cents. Each boy can earn up to $6.50 max per week. If I do not assign enough pay chores for the boy to earn max amount but they wish to work toward that goal they may request more chores.
Payment is made on Saturday afternoons. Children will bring me their chore sheets from the week (each day either saved on the magnetic fridge clip or perhaps in a jar for safekeeping). Chores will be tallied.
Children will divide their payment into 3 categories (with help of mom & dad). 10% is for tithing/giving, 40% is for saving, & 50% is for spending. (A child may choose to put more in tithing or saving if they'd like, but 50% is the max for spending.)
So, if a child earns their full commission/payment in a week of $6.50 it would break down as follows: Tithe= 65 cents, Saving= $2.60, Spending =$3.25.
Children may spend their spending envelope as they choose such as bringing along to the grocery store to buy a special pack of gum or candy. But, mom will no longer take special requests at the store. :)

Wish me luck. I'm hoping this keeps the boys motivated & since it's mostly boy managed, that we can keep the system going.

Nicknames... Sometimes I Call My Kids The Strangest Things

2012-01-12T11:16:00.003-05:00

(I have to put in a word for my friend, Kendra, who is doing her very first giveaway on her blog, 'Fus For Thought. She started her blog last year as a place to share some of the amazing deals she was getting using coupons. She's since revamped it to talk more about her life as a mom to 4 & their family's recent decision to homeschool. I'm sure she'd be thrilled if you checked out her blog and entered her giveaway!)

I seem to have this tendency to play around with the names of people who are near and dear to me.

My husband, John, is usually Babe or Honey. My friend, Jamie, will sometimes get called Jamie Ju (she really dislikes that). My friend Sarah is Saracita and my friend Melissa is Melishka. My sister-in-law is Aunt T (although that name actually can be attributed to my children. When the oldest boys were small they couldn't say her full name, Christina, and she became T or Aunt T). My own sister, Sharon, is Share Bear.

And, then there are my children. I can't seem to stop playing around with their names.

Wyatt, my oldest, has gotten off fairly easy. When he was a baby we would called him Boo Bear or just Boo. We called him this so much that when he said 'Hi' to people he would actually say 'Boo' instead. As a matter of fact, he still does that to this day. Now, I will occassionaly call him WyWy. But for the most part, he's Wyatt.

Edison, #2 boy, gets a few more nicknames thrown around. We call him Edison, Ed, or Eddie about equal amounts. And, then my tendency to play with names kicks in and I'll also refer to him as Edison Medicine or Eddie Spaghetti.

Charlie, Boy #3, actually has the given name of Charles. But, we've called him Charlie almost from the get go. Lately he has wanted to be referred to as Charles on certain days because 'that's his real name'. I also call him Chars, Charlie Barley, Charlie Barley Ruchi or, if I'm feeling really playful Charlie Barley Ruchi Pip Perri Pembo No Sa Rembo (You'd have to read the children's book, Tiki Tiki Tembo to understand that one!)

And, then there's Joseph, or The Baby as I still refer to him (although my husband reminds me that he is most definitely not a baby anymore.) I really love the name Joseph and don't care for the nicknames Joe or Joey. However, that doesn't stop me from coming up with odd things to call him. We do sometimes refer to him as JoJo. And, that has morphed into Hojo Mojo, just plain old Hojo. I've even taken that one a step further into Hoji. And, more recently I've taken to calling him Bobo or Bo.

So there you have it. No names are safe with me!

Do you use nicknames? Have you come up with any odd ones? I'd love to hear!

How Do People Perceive Us...And Does It Matter?

2012-01-11T14:28:00.000-05:00

John and I are taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace course at our church. This is a refresher course for us because we watched his video series in a small group setting years ago. While we still live below what it seems many people would consider the 'average' standard of living, our finances have improved in the years since we first were introduced to Financial Peace.

We wanted to take the class, review some of the concepts, and become more intentional about our spending/saving again.

But, as we were getting ready to leave for the first night of the course this past Sunday, I had an urge to change my purse before we left.

Why?

Well, my generous & gracious sister-in-law gave me a Coach purse a couple months back that I've been using. As a matter of fact she's been generous to me in many ways - the majority of my wardrobe right now was passed on to me by her... and the clothes are in new or next to new condition.

I had admired the purse when I saw it at her house. It's a fun lime green color. And, a couple weeks later she brought it over to me and said I could have it. She doesn't use it anymore and she has a collection of purses so she didn't feel she'd use it in the future.

I was truly appreciative of this amazing gift. Up to this point, my purses have been thrift store or yard sale finds. And, I generally use the same purse until it is worn out.

Fast forward to our first night of Financial Peace. I suddenly felt strange carrying this Coach purse to a course that focuses on good stewardship. I personally have never spent more than $20 on a purse, but for anyone who knows the brand, they'd of course think I spent way beyond that.

And, this winter I'd bought myself a new coat at TJ Maxx. It was the first time I'd bought a new coat in 15 years! 15 years! I truly needed it. And, I did try to pick a coat that looked classic, yet up to date.

So, here I am, ready to walk out the door in my new coat, wearing clothes that are nice (but I didn't buy), carrying a Coach bag. And, I wondered what people would think about me. Would they think I was wealthy? Would they think I was a spender? Neither of these things describe me, but I was afraid this is how people might perceive me.

I nearly changed my purse before leaving the house.

But, I didn't.

Because
1. I'm probably putting a lot more thought into what other people might be thinking about me than what people are actually thinking.
2. I'm not sure it matters.
3. My pride was getting in the way.

That's right. My pride. Because I almost felt like I needed to carry a sign saying, "But, I'm really a simple girl!". I take pride in trying to live simply. And, while that is not necessarily a bad thing, it can be if I set myself up higher than someone else.

The fact is, many people have been generous to John and I and our boys over the years. We are incredibly blessed to be surrounded by family and friends who give freely. I know not everyone has that.

Instead of worrying so much about what people think, I want to instead try to find ways that we can be generous to others,how we can be a blessing.

Things are still just things. What really matters in how people perceive us is in our words & our actions.

That's what I really need to focus on.

Looking Ahead

2012-01-09T14:02:00.002-05:00

I haven't been able to get myself back into the groove of writing regular posts. I've been trying to get back into our regular routine since Christmas & New Year's is over & can't seem to manage much more right now.

But, I have been thinking about some stuff that I'd like to write in the coming weeks. Here are a few teasers....

- My Year of Faith....Why I think this year is going to be one of revelation

- How I'm Doing It - Folks I know have been asking me how I've been losing weight & I plan to share some tips & experiences with my new healthier living lifestyle

- How Do People Perceive Us And Does It Matter? - Why carrying a Coach bag (a gift to me) makes me wonder if people look at me like I'm someone that I'm not.

- The Unreachables? My thoughts on a documentary focusing on one Appalachian family.

-Nicknames - Sometimes I call my children the strangest things.

Hopefully the juices will start flowing soon! I'll be back!

P.S. - I did get a new hair cut! Wanna see? Thought I'd try out some longer bangs to start off the New Year. I do like them, but not sure how long they'll last because it annoys me when they get in my eyes.

What Do You Eat on New Year's Day?

2012-01-01T09:27:00.002-05:00

I grew up thinking everyone in the country ate the same thing on New Year's Day. It was (embarrassingly) recently that I realized depending on where you grew up & what culture your family hails from effects what your traditional New Year's fare may be.

Here in our area known for it's Pennsylvania Dutch heritage our meal of choice is pork & sauerkraut. Add a side of mashed potatoes & you have the New Year's Day meal.

My pork loin & sauerkraut cooked slowly overnight in my crock pot & when we get home from church I'll be whipping up some mashed potatoes.

What will you be eating today?

My (Almost) Christmas Baby

2011-12-27T14:30:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday Joseph Daniel! You are 2 today. You were, and will always be, my (almost) Christmas baby!

It's a little bittersweet. In my mind, two marks the end of your 'babyhood'. And, now we officially have no more babies in our home. And, unless God would send us a surprise, I don't think we will. Your birthday, Joseph, marks the beginning of a new stage for our whole family. A little sad, yes, but also very exciting!

Happy Birthday HoJo!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T13:39:00.001-05:00

May your Christmas this year be joyous & richly blessed. I have been so blessed by all of you my dear blogging friends. Thank you!

Addendum to Yesterday's Post/ Weight Loss Update

2011-12-23T08:51:00.001-05:00

First, an addendum to yesterday's post. I kinda feel bad about writing that now. Looking back I wrote it out of frustration and with not a whole lot of grace.

I didn't give the benefit of the doubt to a whole group of people who have a job I'd rather not have during the Christmas season. I mentioned that I've been in their shoes, but a lot of time has passed since then and I think I've forgotten a bit how stressful it really is.

I thought about deleting the post altogether. But, I think I will leave it there for now. I do, however, want to apologize to those folks who are working in retail/ service industries. I know you work hard. I know this is a rough time of year. And, those of you with good customer service really do still outweigh those with not so good.

I'm going to work harder to look for the positive this holiday season and all year long. And, hopefully I remember to say 'thank you' for a job well done.

Second, I've reached another weight loss milestone. And, I feel a little silly mentioning it right before Christmas. But, I'm really excited, so I wanted to share. As of this morning I have lost 30 pounds since July (35 pounds since the beginning of this year). I still have a few more to go, but I feel SO much better than I did at the beginning of the year.
- I have more energy.
- My moods have evened out (I still can be moody, but nothing like the wild swings I was having earlier this year)
- I feel lighter & more comfortable in clothes.
- I just feel overall better instead of feeling kinda yucky most of the time.

Sometime after the new year I plan to write a post on what I've been doing to get healthier. I've had a lot of people I know ask me, so I figured I'd put it all down. And, really it's stuff I knew I should be doing all along.

If I don't get back here before Christmas, Have a very Merry Christmas!

Some Basic Customer Service Tips For the Young Employee Who May or May Not Know Any Better

2011-12-22T13:42:00.003-05:00

(I've written an addendum to this post. You can read that here. )

I know it's a crazy time of year and that folks who work in retail and other service industries have probably had just about all that they can handle. I have also worked in several different customer service positions over the years, so I suppose I'm particularly sensitive to how I am treated as a customer.

I try really hard to be a pleasant, considerate, respectful customer. I'm afraid though that the art of good customer service is quickly getting lost. And, I'm really not sure if some of the younger generation have actually been taught what they should do.

Thus, my list for those who maybe just don't know....

1. When a customer is standing at the counter where you are working, acknowledge them.
2. If you are not immediately able to help the customer say something like, "I will be with you in a moment".
3. Ignoring a customer hoping they'll just go away is not appropriate.
4. A customer is more important than the restocking or reorganizing you were working on. In fact, the customer is the reason you have items that need restocked/reorganized.
5. If you are a sales person from another department who stops in to a department where a customer is waiting & the sales person in charge is unaware you should also a)aknowledge the customer & b) alert the appropriate employee.
6. If the customer decides that he/she is not actually going to purchase the item she/he asked you to pull from a locked cabinet & price check, remember this is their perogative. Rolling your eyes is not an appropriate response.
7. If a customer has 2 sleepy/cranky children with them, it would be ever so helpful to assist them in a timely manner.
8. If you legitimately did not realize the customer was standing there, when you are made aware it is gracious to say, "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you were there. I didn't mean to make you wait. Can I help you?"

And, for those of us on the customer end, let's always remember to give a smile & a cheery greeting even when we don't receive the same. You never know what kind of day someone has had!

Thought You'd Like To Know....

2011-12-21T14:32:00.000-05:00

I just thought you'd like to know that I'm drinking this right now.....

It's Turmeric Chai Tea & I found this lovely recipe over at New Nostalgia.

Picture found at New Nostalgia

I was blown away by the list of health benefits from turmeric, a spice that I rarely, if ever, use. I'm tellin' ya! It's pretty impressive. Go check out the link!

Note to self: A coffee filter doesn't really work all that great as a sieve. Buy some cheesecloth.
Note to you: I noticed the recipe doesn't actually call for any tea. I steeped my spices along with a green tea bag.

Citrus Arugula Salad

2011-12-20T13:33:00.002-05:00

I'm still here. I haven't been posting much because I really am trying to keep my head above water with Christmas preparations. Boy, that sentence sounds so wrong doesn't it? Why do I stress myself out every year?

Anyway, God is also really working on my heart this season. I'm still trying to process everything He's trying to say to me.

On a lighter note, I wanted to share a yummy idea you could include with your Christmas dinner. I made these for our mom's group Christmas brunch. And, they really turned out nice. They're pretty too.

Citrus Arugula Salad on Parmesan Baskets

First, to make the parmesan basket you take shredded parmesan cheese (it's fine
too if it's a blend of romano & asiago & parmesan) and you spoon 1-2 tablespoons
of the cheese on a cookie sheet. Then use your fingers to spread the cheese out
into a circle. I put about 3 of these circles on a cookie sheet at a time. I
greased my sheet for the first batch but didn't need to after that.
Bake at 350
degrees for about 5 minutes until the cheese is golden brown. Allow to cool
slightly, but when it is still warm & pliable you want to use a metal spatula to
take the parmesan circle off the sheet and drape over an upside down cup to mold
into a cup/basket shape. I usually take a paper towel or cloth & actually press
the sides down to help mold the shape. This is a link that shows the process
step by step....http://whatscookingamerica.net/Appetizers/ParmesanCrisp.htm
(You can also make them stove top using a small skillet. I've done it that way
before too...but for making a large number the oven was the way to go)

The salad was simply a mix of arugula & baby spinach tossed with this
vinaigrette & then topped with mandarin oranges

Honey Mandarin-Lime Vinaigrette
3/4 c. cider vinegar (I actually used white vinegar)
3/4 c. Mandarin orange juice
2 T. lime juice
3 T. honey
1 T. brown sugar
1 shallot clove minced
1 1/2 c. olive oil
pinch of salt

Combine all ingredients except olive oil in blender & blend well. Then on a low
blend speed, drizzle in olive oil until well mixed.

A Simple Christmas?

2011-12-14T15:52:00.003-05:00

Every year I tell myself I'm going to keep Christmas simple...not get swept up in the hurry & the busy & the hype. Every year I tell myself I'm going to keep it slow & focused....that I want to be sure me and my family remember why we are celebrating at all.

And, every year, I still find myself struggling for simple.

We don't do a lot of parties or gift exchanges or expensive gifts. We try to be reasonable about the money we do spend & not go into debt. I don't frequent malls or shopping centers, preferring to do most my shopping on line or at some smaller stores.

I try really hard to keep it simple.

And, yet I have a whirlwind of To Do Lists flying through my head. A list of Christmas cookies & candies I want to make & the list of teachers, friends, etc. I want to give them to. I have a to do list for my mom's group's Christmas brunch (I'm the hospitality person), and a to do list for my children's class parties at school (I'm not able to go in but am sending some things in). There's my personal list of everyday chores & tasks, and my list for Christmas presents yet to buy. There are Christmas picture cards ordered & received that now I need to address and send.

Baking, wrapping, planning, buying. Where did my quest for simplicity go?

And, in the midst of it all, I remember my extended family that is suffering with a grief I can't begin to imagine this season. I look ahead to Friday when funeral services will be held for the three family members whose lives ended in such a tragic way.

I have to rearrange my morning on Friday in order to attend the funeral. It's the morning of the Christmas brunch for my moms group. And, I'm in charge of several things related to the brunch. I'm stressing as I'm trying to figure out how to delegate & get as much done as I can ahead of time.

And, then I stop myself. So what? So what if I don't get it all done? Perspective pushes in at me from all sides....
- the loss of 3 lives in my own family, Rachel, Patti, and Melvin
- a young boy (whose grandmother I know) who had brain surgery this morning to remove a tumor
- the family in our area who lost 3 of their children in one tragic car accident last week
- the blogger whose blog has brought such joy & encouragement to me who is fighting her own battle with cancer
- friends whose Christmas will be simple not because of their own choosing but because the husband still has not been able to find employment despite months of job searching

This is why He came. Emmanuel - God With Us. He came to walk with us in our human condition. And, he brought Hope.

The Christmas celebration is a celebration of Hope.

I still love the trees and the decorations and the food and the gifts. I just don't want to make Christmas ALL about that. And, it's easy to do.

I guess keeping it simple can be as simple as stopping and remembering and meditating on what He has done. I don't want to forget.

(P.S. - If you haven't done so yet, you really should read this post called ' How in the World to get ready for Christmas' over at A Holy Experience. It spoke volumes to me.)

Know Him

2011-12-13T13:06:00.000-05:00

I was so encouraged by all the attributes of God that I could find yesterday in just a short period of time while reading the Psalms that I was challenged to look for even more.

I don't know about you but I sometimes fall into the trap of allowing my thinking to be too greatly influenced by this world. This world sometimes characterizes our God by completely different characteristics - angry, harsh, unfair, etc. I know I sometimes find myself thinking 'Do they have a point?', especially at times in reading the Old Testament. And, I question myself, 'Who is God really?'.

But, God wants to be known. And, there is so much He has told us about Who He Is. I've read the Psalms hundreds of times, but when I read them with the purpose of understanding God's character, I really have been blown away.

You can read the first part of my list in yesterday's post. Like I said, it only scratched the surface. Here is more I found today. This didn't take hours to compile. I found all this in a short period of time....about 15 minutes or so.

He Is....

The One Who Established Fairness
The One Who Administers Justice
The One Who Answers
Eternal
Clothed in Splendor
Enthroned Forever
Slow to Anger
Redeemer
Doer of Miraculous Signs
Abundantly Compassionate
Gracious
Fair Judge
One Whose Fame Endures to All Generations
Resplendent
Mighty
Doer of Wonderful Works
God of Hosts
Shepherd
Pure
Exalted
Satisfier
Revealer
Forgiving
Healer
Full of Faithful Love
Establisher of The Earth

"When the earth and all it's inhabitants shake, I am the One who steadies its pillars." Psalm 75:2

He Is

2011-12-12T14:37:00.003-05:00

(I was reading my Bible this afternoon, searching for some comfort & peace in the middle of this family tragedy. I was reading in the Psalms & in the course of about 10-15 minutes & reading 6 or 7 Psalms, these were all descriptors or names for God that I found. And, this only scratches the surface.)

The world may shake, but in the midst of it all He is...

Faithful
A Stronghold
My Strength
A Refuge
A Strong Tower
Glorious
Awe-inspiring
Yahweh
Father of the Fatherless
A Champion of Widows
He Who Leads Prisoners to Prosperity
Powerful
Good
The One Who Hears Prayer
My Hope
My Salvation
My Rock
Almighty
Great
He Who Rides in the Ancient, Highest Heavens
Majestic
Loving
He Who Listens to the Needy
Just
Righteous
Holy One
My Help
My Deliverer
My God

Prayers For My Family This Time

2011-12-12T11:12:00.002-05:00

I'm in complete shock right now and I don't even know if I can find the words to write this post. I just found out that my 24 year old 2nd cousin and her parents (her mom, Patti, & my mom are 1st cousins) died in a house fire early this morning. The youngest daughter, 17, escaped out a second story window.

I know that many people might not even know who their second cousins are. But, Rachel & her family lived in the same area as me. Her mom, Patti, worked at the Walmart right up the road. We saw each other fairly regularly. And, Rachel & I in particular had reconnected over the years.

She was excited to be engaged to her boyfriend and was looking forward to everything that life had in store....and now she's gone. And, I just can't believe it.

I don't know what else to say right now. Just please pray for our family right now. My mom needs to figure out how to tell my 86 year old grandmother that her niece, husband, and grandniece have died.

Procrastination Has It's Consequences

2011-12-08T14:01:00.001-05:00

(Have you given your opinion yet? I'll tally all responses I receive until the end of the day Friday, 12/8 - midnight)

I've been seriously considering doing the Jingle Bell Run (another 5K) this coming Sunday.

I actually know a bunch of people who are going to participate.

But, I kept hemming & hawing on the matter because
1. It's on a Sunday. It's in the afternoon, but we'll be at church in the morning and Sunday afternoons are usually our rest, relax, and nap time.
2. I'm afraid it's gonna be really cold!
3. I've still been running, but not with the frequency I was before my first 5K. I'm worried I haven't kept myself physically prepared.

All that to say, today I finally decided, "OK. I'm gonna do this!" But, I went to the website and online registration is closed!

I can still register the day of the event. Soooo, what do you think? Should this procrastinator take this as my opportunity to bag it & forget it? Or should I do it anyway?

I'm gonna give you guys the power here! I'll tally your answers and the winning answer will stand.

Prayer Please

2011-12-07T07:00:00.001-05:00

I don't often write about tragedies that have occurred in our area. But, this one is heavy on my heart this morning. Yesterday afternoon around 3:00 p.m 2 teenagers and a child were killed when their car lost control and crossed the center line into oncoming traffic. (It was a rainy day)

All three of the children were siblings. 2 boys, twins - age 16 and a girl, age 9 died.

I can not imagine the anguish of this family right now. They have 10 children total. And, while I don't know them personally, Facebook is on fire right now with posts from people I know who DO know this family.

They're a godly, close knit family. And, the mother spoke at our mom's group a couple years ago. When I went to her facebook page, I thought she looked familiar and now I realize that's why. But, I'm haunted by their family photo from Christmas last year. All of their beautiful children are together and smiling.

I know there are many, many prayers being lifted up for them right now. But, I wanted to send out a request for even more prayer covering over the Martin family in the midst of this terrible time. Thanks.

The Cost of Groceries

2011-12-05T13:18:00.001-05:00

Chatty Mommy has a post today in which she asked her readers if they'd share the price of some basic grocery items in our area. She named her post I Want To Know What You're Paying.

I thought this was a fun idea. I like the idea of comparing the price of things depending on the area you live in, where you shop, etc. So, my post today will be 2 parts. First I will answer Chatty Mommy's question about the price of certain items. Then, since I actually made a grocery run this morning, I'll share my 'grocery cart' expenses with you.

Here goes....

Chatty Mommy asked how much we spend on each of these items....

*Note: I do most of my shopping at a discount grocery store. Often they have overstock items, some scratch & dent and outdated items too.

a gallon of regular gas - $3.33 gallon
a gallon of milk - at the store 2% is $3.79, whole is $4.00. We recently switched to raw milk, so I spend $4.00 a gallon where I buy it. If I bought directly from the dairy it would be less.
a box of 4 sticks of butter- normally $2.49. Today I got a deal at $1.79
a dozen eggs- We used to pay '0'. But we recently got rid of our chickens. They were getting old for layers (about 3 years old) & we didn't want to have to winterize for them. We'll get a new batch of chicks in the spring. At the store, large white were $2.09, large brown were $2.00. We pay $2.00 at the farm where we've been getting eggs (pastured).
a loaf of bread- I usually get Maier's Italian day old bread for about $1.00. Today I found Sara Lee Honey Wheat day old bread for 79 cents a loaf & Sara Lee Cinnamon Raisin day old for $1.29. A regular loaf of Schmidt whole wheat bread was $2.49
a bunch of bananas - my discount store is usually around 49 cents a pound. Walmart is usually around 59 cents a pound. Today I hit the jackpot and got a case of finger bananas for $3.99

Now here's what I brought home today.....

Bag of home-made thin noodles - $2.79
Case single finger bananas - 3.99
Case Fit & Active yogurt (12 containers) - 2.99
Gallon distilled water - .99
2 Land o Lakes 4 stick butter packs - 1.79 each
8 oz. cheddar cheese 1.39
10 x sugar (1.89 pounds) 1.59
2 avocados 2/1.00
2 Sara Lee Honey Wheat loafs .79 each
Sara Lee Cinnamon Raisin Bread 1.29
Gold Medal Flour (5.37 pounds) 2.36
Rolled Oats (3.62 pounds) 2.06
Brown Sugar (4.86 pounds) 4.33
Pepperidge Farm Goldfish .99
White & Red Grapes ( 1.62 pounds) 1.93
Hand Soap .99
Pineapple .99
Bosc Pears ( 3 lb. bag) 2.99
16 oz. Mozarella 1.49
Sliced deli turkey (.48 pounds) 1.44
Whole cut chicken (4.79 pounds) 6.64
bag arugula .79
container of romaine .99

My grand total today was $49.24

So, now that Chatty Mommy got this started, I'd love to hear what prices are in your area. You could answer in the comments or, if you write a blog post about it, be sure to send me the link. Send one to Chatty Mommy too. I know she'd love it!

Um.....

2011-12-03T09:08:00.001-05:00

Evidence that at least one of my children may inherit my husband's propensity toward circular logic.....

"Mom! Joseph's leaving the yard!"

"Where is he now?"

"With Madelyn."

"Where's Madelyn?"

"With Joseph."

Last Chance Picnic

2011-11-29T14:30:00.001-05:00

The big boys still had a day off for Thanksgiving vacation yesterday. And, we had beautiful weather here in Pennsylvania.

So our day consisted of haircuts for the boys, bike/scooter riding at the park, lots of outside play, and a picnic!

I figured this was probably the last chance in 2011 for the boys to eat their lunch picnic style. Sure makes clean up easy too!

I Did It!

2011-11-25T13:39:00.001-05:00

Well, I did it folks! I ran my first 5K! I met both my goals too. I wanted to run the entire thing if I could and not walk any part of it. Check! And, I wanted to come in under 45 minutes. Check again! You'll have to read on though to see what my actual time was.

I was so nervous when I got up on Thanksgiving morning. But, I knew there was no turning back. And, it was a beautiful, crisp, sunny day. My in-laws kept the middle two boys - Charlie and Edison. And, John and I brought Wyatt, our oldest, and Joseph, our youngest along.

The run began at 9:00 a.m. but we wanted to be there by 8:00 to check in.

The Turkey Trot was being held at my alma mater, Millersville University. The little college town also is home to my high school alma mater, Penn Manor. The high school campus and college campus are pretty much right next to each other so heading in to the run really was a walk down memory lane.

We checked in at the University gymnasium.

Me and my boys!

I mentioned that it was my sister who originally asked me to run this 5K with her. And, that her friend, Missy, was the one who asked my sister. Well, my sister bowed out when she realized it was probably going to be more than she could do in one morning (she was also hosting our family Thanksgiving meal). But, Missy was still running. I found her and her stepson, Jake, while we were still in the gym.

I felt a little better once I saw a familiar face. The campus was hopping with 5K runners and many of them were quite a bit younger and fitter than me. There were a lot of people there who I could tell took running very seriously. I had lots of nervous energy and waiting for the start time was hard.

Finally, the crowd started making it's way out to the starting line. I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know if they would tell us where to stand. But, we pretty much just all clumped together & waited for the air horn to blow.

Missy & I waiting expectantly

And, we're off!

Can you find me in the crowd?

Missy and I started out together, but we both agreed to move at our own speed. Missy quickly pulled ahead and out of my sight. I knew that I had to pace myself. And, the run started out going slightly uphill. If I would have tried to keep up with the crowd I would have quickly run out of energy.

So, I moved slowly, but consistently. I wasn't at the tail end of the pack, but I was certainly toward the back.

John got this picture of me at one of the points along the path.

I tried to concentrate on my own running and not be distracted by what was going on around me. I also tried not be discouraged by the fact that the people who were mixing walking and running seemed to be going faster than me! And, there was a dad running with a little girl who appeared to be about 5 or 6 and they consistently stayed well ahead of me.

I kept telling myself 'slow & steady wins the race'....well, maybe it doesn't win the race, but it does finish the race.

There were also people stationed at the one mile and two mile marks calling out our time as we went by. At the first mark, I remember thinking "I've only gone a mile?!" Again, I tried not to let it discourage me and I just kept moving.

The run ended coming around the track in the University stadium.

Coming in the home stretch.

Almost there!

Wyatt told me my finishing time was 39:28. Hmm. I look awfully close to the line here. Maybe it was more like 39:27?

My men were there to congratulate me at the end.

Would I do it again? Well, Missy has already told me that there is Jingle Bell 5K coming up in December. We'll see.....

Tomorrow's The Day!

2011-11-23T13:34:00.001-05:00

Yes, I know. It's Thanksgiving tomorrow..

But, it's also the day of the 5K Turkey Trot I'll be running. Eeek.

image found here

I think I'm ready. On 2 different occassions I went around our block (which is slightly more than 3 miles). I ran most of it both times, with a few walking intervals. Our block is anything but even. The first part of our block is down hill and then there are a few spots where I'm going uphill, way uphill (that's where I did my walking).

The map for the 5K looks like it's going to be a fairly flat, even running path. It's in a little college town (my alma mater actually), so there shouldn't be too many hills and valleys. And, I'm fairly certain I won't have to dodge horse manure on the road (like I do now).

image found here

Soooo I'd like to try to run the whole thing. But, I'll certainly walk in parts if I need to. And, I'd like to try to finish in about 45 minutes. That's about how long it took me when I did my block & that included walking segments.

I'll let you know how it goes...

Oh, and by the way, I'll be doing this on my own. My sister, who originally asked me to join her in doing it, bowed out. She has a legitimate reason. She's hosting Thanksgiving dinner at her house, so she's going to be a bit busy. Anyway, I'm a little nervous about running alone. But, it's not like I'm going to feel like talking, right?

Wish me luck! I'll try to imagine all of you cheering me on.

image found here

A Prayer

2011-11-23T08:44:00.001-05:00

I start to pray,

'Lord forgive me for patience that runs too thin

my body that is so tired

my will that is so weak.'

But then I remember that He already knows I am

impatient
tired
weak.

What he offers to me is not condemnation but instead he offers

His peace
His strength
His will.

So often I get caught up in the guilt I feel over my failures,

When always His hand is extended in Grace.

Thankfulness

2011-11-22T08:30:00.001-05:00

I know I frequently write about my struggle with contentment. Especially contentment with our home.

In comparison to 'American standards' our home is small. And, for a family of six many would consider our home entirely too small.

Our home is old. I actually prefer older homes. But, it also means that many things need fixed. There's a lot of cosmetic work that could/should be done, but the practical & functional stuff comes first. And, there's a lot of that work too.

I sometimes wish we had more space so my boys could spread out more, that we wouldn't always feel like we were on top of each other. I wish we had more space so that I could entertain more and that our guests didn't feel like they were on top of each other.

I dream about my dream home - and old but refurbished stone farmhouse with original hardwood floors, a large eat-in kitchen + a dining room!, plenty of bedrooms, a living room AND a family room, acreage.

But, I was reminded again recently how very much we have. In fact, we have more than enough.

This past weekend was our annual missions conference at church. As missionaries from around the world came to share how God is moving in each of their areas, I was challenged. In particular, one missionary's presentation challenged me.

A minister in India (and a native Indian himself), he spoke briefly and then had a video presentation which showed the people of the village in which he worked. His ministry works with orphans, lepers & the sick, the impoverished.

One picture has stuck with me. It was taken in the inside of a hut - the typical dwelling for a family in this village. The floor was a dirt floor. The hut was the size of my living room (which is small). Thin sleeping mats were being rolled out on the dirt floor.

And that affected me deeply. I tried to imagine that setting if I went to India to visit. Could I sleep on those thin mats on a dirt floor inside a crowded hut for a few days? I could hardly imagine. But, this is life for the people in that village.

I thought about my own bed & it suddenly seemed to me that my bed would be like sleeping on a cloud in comparison.

My home is huge & luxurious.

How dare I complain or lament that I don't have enough? How can I say 'Why don't I have a bigger house like so & so?'?

We don't even know what we have! And, what we have is so very, very much.

I am thankful. I am thankful for all I have. And, I am thankful that God is gentle with us. Despite our tendency toward ungratefulness, His Spirit speaks to us tenderly....reminding us of all we have.

Do You Have A Suggestion?

2011-11-21T08:26:00.001-05:00

For Christmas this year we would like to get my oldest two boys their first 'real' Bibles. They've outgrown the children's storybook Bibles and they need something that they can take to Sunday School that has the Bible in it's entirety.

We realized it was time when our one son mentioned that they sometimes do 'Sword Drills' in Sunday School where they try to find different verses as quickly as they can.

I would like something that is a large enough print for them to be able to easily read it. And, it would be nice if it still had pictures or illustrations here and there. Do any of your children have a Bible that is easy for them to use.

I would love any suggestions you may have.....

I'm A Fake

2011-11-18T13:28:00.001-05:00

I went to my Momsnext meeting today and by the end of the morning I was feeling low. I couldn't figure out what had me down. But, then it came to me. I felt like I was fake.

Me! The one who laments the fact that so many feel the need to wear a mask and won't make themselves vulnerable or real. Well, guess what? Me too. I, in fact, wear many masks.

1. It's easy for me to banter back and forth on Facebook or on blog comments. In real life, I struggle for words. I feel awkward and unsure of myself. Conversation doesn't always come easily for me.

2. I don't have it all together. I've been posting quite a bit about my weight loss and running, some (long awaited) home improvements, etc. On the surface it might seem like I've got it together. I really, really don't. I'm still the gal that never invites people over to her house because I'm afraid it's too small, ramshackle, or cluttered. People's opinion of me might be influenced if they see where I live. I'm also the gal who has struggled with my weight all. my. life. It's takes an awful lot to motivate me to try to be healthy. And, even now, I ask myself 'How long will this latest health & fitness stage last?"

3. I'm really bad at nurturing new friendships. I've been part of my mom's group since my oldest was a baby (he's 8 now). There are so many women in the group who I'm drawn to and feel a connection to. Yet, I haven't taken steps to develop those relationships into deeper friendships. I haven't been able to make myself vulnerable enough to try. After 8 years, why not?

And, I guess I felt so bad by the end of the morning because I realized 'Maybe I have been fake. Maybe I haven't been real enough. ' I guess it's an even easier thing to do in this age of technology.

Anyway, do you ever feel like it's easier to be confident, witty, etc. when you sit behind a computer screen than it is in real life? Or are you the same in person as your bloggy/facebook persona?

Running

2011-11-17T13:27:00.001-05:00

I really didn't want to go running today. It's cold. I felt like I was catching a cold. I was tired. I just didn't feel like it. And, I'd already been on a 2 day running hiatus (Tuesday I was prepping for Charlie's birthday party. Wednesday it was raining.) so it was even harder to drum up any motivation.

Then John came home for lunch and asked me why I wasn't in my running clothes.

"I'm not going today. It's cold." I said.

He motioned up the stairs, "Go change into your clothes & go on your run."

I just looked at him.

"This is the week you're going to want to try to go the whole 3 miles around the block if you're going to be ready for the 5K, " he said.

"Oh. OK." I quickly went to change. He gave me the motivation I needed when I didn't have any of my own.

I didn't have time to go around the block today. John had to get back to work earlier today. (For you city or suburbanite folk, a country block IS 3 miles. Seriously. We checked the mileage on a drive around the block.)

But, I did still reach a running milestone. I went a total of 2 miles. I ran the entire first mile (down to the stop sign...yup it's one mile to the stop!) and then ran the second mile (coming back up the road) with 4 short walking intervals (I saved the walking part for the uphill areas).

And, I feel really good. Tomorrow I won't be able to run because I have a meeting over lunch. But, Saturday my goal is to go the whole 3 miles! I know that once I go past the stop sign and start going around the block there's no turning back. But, after today I feel pretty confident I can do it.

You know whenever I used to see people running I always would think they looked so strong, fit, dedicated, and confident. That's what I'm aiming for! Strong. Fit. Dedicated. Confident.

Today also marked the 10th time I've run since I started 2 weeks ago. Not major for folks who run regularly, but for me that's huge! And, I've lost 4.2 pounds since I started running. So, it has jump started my metabolism and gotten the scale moving again.

And, I'm so thankful for a husband who motivates me even when I'm not feeling motivated!

Charles Lincoln

2011-11-15T11:34:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday Charles Lincoln! You were almost my birthday baby. We missed sharing a birthday by just 2 days!

I can't believe you are four already. Look how much you have grown. You are my sweet boy and I love you so much!

Happy Birthday Charlie!

Nothing Too Heavy Today...I Promise

2011-11-14T14:39:00.001-05:00

Well, after my series of posts last week on doubt and faith, I figured today it was time for something a bit lighter. Not to mention, writing those heavy, soul-baring posts was pretty draining. It was good though to be able to put all my thoughts (well, not ALL, but many) in one spot.

Sooooo, yesterday was my birthday....the four and the one. Yup. 41. I really wasn't thinking too much about it in the days leading up to my birthday. Just another day. Plus I found this little saying which I thought was a good reflection on why we really should celebrate (instead of lament) each year we are given...

Still, I struggled a bit more with 41 than I thought I would. I was in a 'woe is me' state for a while. But, I eventually snapped out of it thanks to my dear hubby who got me a couple lovely gifts (cordial cherries! and a decanter). And, then he took me out to dinner at a lovely restaurant.

AND, I was able to wear a pair of size 12 jeans for the first time since I've lost weight. (I'm still more of a 14 right now, but this pair worked!) THAT was a thrill. So, before we went out we had to take a few pictures. (After all I was all dressed up in size 12 jeans & I had makeup on and my hair down!)

One other note from our birthday dinner: If a waiter in a fancy restaurant tells you that the venison in their one dish is marinated for 2 days, then slow roasted for 2 days and that it doesn't taste gamey at all and just falls off the bone, take that recommendation with a grain of salt.

I'm still not sure why I ordered it....after all since I'm married to a hunter we eat venison (or as we say, deer meat!) more often than beef anyway. But, I guess I wanted to see what a fancy restaurant was capable of. Needless to say, it was good (the sauce was especially delicious) but it wasn't amazing (and certainly not worth the amount of money they charged for it). I have to say that I have prepared venison at home that was more tender. Just sayin'.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and are looking forward to a fabulous week!

That Thing About Faith...Seeking Revelation

2011-11-11T14:07:00.001-05:00

(This is a continuation from the last 2 posts I wrote about doubt. You can read the first one here and the second one here.)

"Why does the fact that faith is hard to accept logically become the end of the argument rather than the beginning of something different? In fact, maybe the more we let go of our secure grip on what makes sense, the more vibrant our faith will become."
   - John Wilkinson in No Argument For God....Going Beyond Reason In Conversations About Faith.

The verses in Isaiah that I found began to speak hope to me. Even though I still hadn't found all the answers to the questions raised by doubt, I took hope that God wanted to be found, to be understood. He didn't want me to remain in a place of darkness.

I longed for glimpses of God to fuel and strengthen my faith. They came to me slowly, sometimes barely perceivable.

Bits of faith came in the form of...

A bird I noticed out the window while I was washing dishes causing me to ponder the wide variety we see...not only in birds but in all the earth, all the animals, all the plants.

The sweet-tartness of a juicy pear. The many flavors, colors, smells that come to us in so many forms. If evolution were true, why would we need such variety?

Evolution tries to say that all we see came from one living cell that somehow emerged out of nothing, out of a void containing no life . And, that cell supposedly became all that we see today through millions of years of change and adaptation. How is this theory, this story any less ridiculous than what atheists claim our story of Creation to be?

I still felt like I was taking a step forward and several steps backward on various occassions. Like a fighter struggling to rise to his feet, my opponent kept knocking me back before I could gain my footing.

Too often to count, I'd be at church engaged in worship, feeling the presence of God when a single niggling doubt would creep in and whisper, "What if all this is made up? What if it isn't true? Do you know how ridiculous you all look?". I would try to squelch the thought before it could fully enter my head, but the damage was already done. My spirit of worship was replaced once again with a spirit of doubt.

Other crazy thoughts continued to assail me. Things like, "If God isn't real, I'd never even know I was wrong to believe in Him. There would be no 'after death' moment of realization. One moment I'd be here and conscious and the next I'd be gone with no consciousness that I had even left...there'd be no consciousness at all."

Doubt tries to latch on to faith with jaws that will not come loose, shaking and shaking that faith until it goes limp.

But,

"God is faithful and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape, so that you are able to bear it."
-1Corinthians 11:16

Even though my faith still floundered, God was faithful. He continued to speak in that still, small voice. And I started to see Him again.

My children. This love I have for them. It's illogical. It's beyond reason. It is more than a chemical reaction.

The many emotions I feel. The way my heart is stirred by certain music. The way my soul rises up at the beauty of a perfect Fall sunrise. This is all beyond reason.

One night after the children were all tucked in bed and sound asleep I was downstairs in the bathroom getting myself ready for bed. One of my children cried out in terror in their sleep calling for me, 'Mom? Mom? Mommy!' I wanted to run to my child, but I wasn't able to immediately run out the bathroom door. And in that moment, God spoke to me 'Just as your whole being longs to run to your son, my whole being longs to run to you when you cry out my Name terrified that you are alone in the dark.'

Revelation doesn't always come all at once. Sometimes revelation comes slowly, our faith reawakening as even the small and mundane show themselves to be part of a more intricate plan.

Did I have all the answers to the questions I had been asking? No. Sometimes the questions don't have easy answers. Some remain a mystery. Still there is benefit in asking those questions. It causes us to seek Him, to press in closer to the mystery.

Doubt does not let go easily. This is still a journey I am on. I do believe that I've been under spiritual attack. But, I've wondered 'Why now? Why at the age of 40...well into my spiritual life?'. It occurred to me, that now that I have four young boys that we are raising to become strong men of God, the enemy has a good reason to try to take out the faith of the mother.

What I have taken so far from this whole experience and battle with doubt is this...

- This is a journey no one can take for you. You can read all the apologetics, articles, books that you can find. And they are good resources. But, in the end this is a heart issue between you and God. And, only His Spirit can provide the revelation you seek.

- Doubt will not let go if you try to ignore it. Push back. Face it head on.

-You are not alone. You are not the only Christian who has dealt with crippling doubt. We don't like to talk about it. We keep our spiritual Sunday best in place when talking with other Christians. One of the most healing moments for me came when one Sunday our pastor, who was speaking about putting on our spiritual armor and the shield of faith, said that the spirit of atheism and doubt wants very much to shoot blazing arrows at us that will not just wound, but burn and consume. Then he asked how many people had ever asked themselves if 'this whole God thing was just baloney'. Almost every single hand in the congregation went up. Even my father in law who was visiting with us that Sunday at church and who I consider a strong, spiritual man raised his hand. It truly helps to realize you are not the only one.

- God is above reason.
   Faith is...." 'not of the senses', something that exceeds the grasp of human sense organs and the reason that is fashioned from them. Simply put, sense and reason are only one slim pathway of what can be known. Just because faith doesn't reside completely in this pathway doesn't make it a fairy tale." - John Wilkinson in No Argument for God

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways." This is the Lord's declaration.
"For as heaven is higher than earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8,9

-You may not be able to convince your atheist friends and family.  Chances are good you won't. Only the Holy Spirit can bring revelation to a heart and a mind that is closed. Pray, pray, pray that God reveal Himself to them.

- Explore Who God is.  One of the things I started doing when I was questioning the character of God (see my questions from yesterday's post regarding the OT God) is to start looking for every single verse in the Bible that contains the Lord's name and to copy that verse into a notebook....starting from Genesis and working my way on. I'll admit I didn't get too far, but this is an exercise I want to continue. Because I believe God wants to be known as fully as possible by us.

Finally, these are 2 of my favorite quotes of all time. They resonate with me and encourage me to continue my journey of faith....

"I believe in the immortality of the soul because I have within me immortal longings....Faith, the spiritual strong searchlight illumines the way, and although sinister doubts may lurk in the shadow, I walk unafraid towards the Enchanted Wood where the foliage is always green, where joy abides, where nightingales nest and sing, and where life and death are one in the Presence of the Lord." Helen Keller

and....

-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Thanks for sticking with me through this series of posts. I know this was a heavy topic. But, it is one I really felt I needed to share. God bless you on your journey!

That Thing About Doubt...continued

2011-11-10T09:20:00.001-05:00

(You can get up to speed by reading yesterday's post if you haven't already. I plan to be as honest as possible in writing this series and I don't intend to gloss over the questions I was struggling with. It is not my intent to cause anyone else to start doubting, but it is my hope and prayer that by the end of this I will have written words that would encourage. If you have ever doubted, you are not alone. Please stick with me through to the end.)

The interactions I had with my atheist friends had planted seeds of doubt. At first I was bothered because I wanted desperately to know how to counter their arguments and attacks on faith. What would get through to them? Then, as I started to research ways to enter into a logical, rational debate, I started to ask questions I had never asked before.

How do we know the Bible is the inspired Word of God & not just a bunch of stories collected from ancient peoples?

How did the writers of the Bible know what to write? How did God communicate His Word to them?

Is the Bible truly inerrant? Or did the writers misinterpret things in their own human-ness?

The seeds were starting to sprout.

Some more of the questions I was asking.....

How do we know the Creation story is accurate as written in the Bible if no people were alive to witness it?

Did Creation occurr in the literal 7 days or was the word 'day' used figuratively in the Bible account?

What about scientific evidence for the theory of evolution? How does a Christian answer that?

I started buying books on Christian apologetics. But it seemed like each question I tried to answer opened the door to half a dozen more questions. And, oftentimes the books I was reading glossed over the answers. They didn't answer them in the depth I was longing for.

Even if I could get past the 'scientific' questions, other questions started bothering me on an even deeper level.

What about the God of the Old Testament? Why does He seem so different from God as we know Him as revealed in Jesus?

Why did God seem to command war, death, and destruction in parts of the Old Testament?

Why did God command that ALL inhabitants of certain pagan cities be destroyed by the Israelites? What about the babies and the children?

This one had me stuck for a LONG time. As much as it still disturbed me, I could kind of grasp destroying those old enough to choose their sinful lifestyle. But, the children! That didn't coincide with the God I knew, the God I worship. My mother's heart cried out in protest.

And, what about grace? What about the grace that I knew? My 20's were a dark time...one in which I made choices that would have condemned me if I had lived in the age of the Old Testament. I would have died along with the other sinners. Does God love us more now, have more capacity for mercy than He did then? If He couldn't or wouldn't extend grace to them, then maybe He hadn't really extended it to me. Maybe I wasn't understanding grace at all.

What about those who have never even heard of God? Are they condemned?

What about those who grew up in a culture where they were taught to believe in another religion (just as I was taught about Jesus) and it's all they've ever known? Are they condemned?

What about those whose hearts are good and who long to do good but they just missed the mark when it came to Jesus? Are they condemned?

These questions plagued me. I couldn't let go of them. I wanted answers. I needed answers.

I began searching online for answers to these questions. Surely I wasn't the only one who was asking them. Surely after thousands of years of theological discussion and searching, somewhere there had to be an answer that made sense to me.

And, while I did come across some good discussions and found some food for thought, the matters still weren't settled in my heart 100%.

This doubt was affecting my everyday life. I was distracted, irritable. My mind was constantly mulling over all the questions, all the many ways people had tried to answer them. When I read stories from the Bible to my children, or tried answering questions they had about God I'd find myself wondering if it was really all made up. After all, some of those Bible stories really do sound far fetched.

I began trying to spend more time in the Word. I was praying. I was seeking. And, far too often I felt emptiness and silence. I wanted God to speak to me . I wanted revelation.

I tried talking with my husband. "Haven't you ever wondered if it's all real? If God really exists?" I'd ask him.

"No. I've never questioned it. I've never doubted it."

"Really?" I would ask desperately. "Haven't you ever asked any of these questions?"

"All Creation itself is evidence of God. I believe His Word. That's enough for me."

And, it's true. My husband is the sort that once he believes something to be true, there is nothing that will sway him or make him change his mind. He remains steadfast.

And I envied that about him.

God, why do you hide yourself from us?

If Your love, your Plan of salvation is supposed to be easy enough for a child to understand and believe, why am I struggling so much with so many questions?

Around this time, I came across some verses that started speaking some spiritual healing into my heart.

Isaiah 45:18-19
"I am the Lord and there is no other. I have not spoken in secret from somewhere in a land of darkness.
I have not said to Jacob's descendants, 'Seek me in vain.'
I the Lord speak the truth."

Isaiah 46:8-10
"Remember this, fix it in mind, take it to heart you rebels.
Remember the former things, those of long ago,
I am God and there is no other.
I am God and there is none like me.
I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times what is still to come.
I say 'My purpose will stand and I will do all that I please.'

What I began to take from these verses is that God wanted to be found. My seeking, my questioning was not fruitless. It did not have to lead to darkness. Instead, if I held on to my faith, my seeking could lead to revelation.

(More to come about that path to revelation in my next post....)

That Thing About Doubt

2011-11-09T14:28:00.003-05:00

Back in July I wrote two posts, with the intent of writing a third, on the subject of doubt. You can read them here and here. I had actually originally named the posts 'Why Do Christians Shoot Their Wounded?', but I went back and changed it to "Dealing With Doubt" because that was at the core of what was on my heart.

As I mentioned, I intended to come back and write a third post. I imagined a nice, neat post where I summed up the thoughts & issues I had been struggling with and then wrapped it up with some practical ways that I conquered the big ol' baddie of Doubt.

But, I couldn't bring myself to write that post....because I couldn't seem to get past my own doubt. Everytime I thought I had my head and heart in the right place and that my faith was back on track, I'd hit another pothole that sent me hurling head over heels into that dark, dark place of doubt.

Now, let me catch you up here a bit. The doubt I'm talking about isn't 'doubt that God is in control' or 'doubt that God really loves me' or 'doubt that God really has a plan for me'. This doubt is something a whole lot more destructive and dark. This doubt is the doubt that God even exists....that ANY of the Bible is true, that ANY of what I've based my life on is true.

And, that's a very dark place indeed to be.

It all started with some interactions I had on Facebook with a friend who is an atheist. I talked about that here. First, I was shocked to learn how many people I know have no belief in a God...at all. Second, I was shocked at how angry they are at Christians...and religious people in general. Third, I was shocked by what an arsenal of intellectual arguments they have. I felt completely unprepared for the interactions I had.

I suppose I was rather naive. I had always assumed that atheists were a few cynical, grumpy college professors tucked away in their musty, stuffy offices. I hadn't rubbed shoulders with a 'real atheist'...or so I thought. I had always pretty much assumed that everyone believed in something and that it was just a matter of pointing them to Jesus. Like I said...naive!

And, I hadn't exactly been consistent in my reading of the Word and prayer life. I've used the busy-ness of motherhood and overall exhaustion as an excuse for that. And, to be completely honest, it's much more interesting and seems so much more relevant to read blog posts from other moms than to read the Bible. God's Word, written so long ago, and read by me hundreds of times over the course of my lifetime wasn't speaking to me the same way as things written by women I felt I had things in common with.

I was spiritually depleted.

And, it was about to get worse.

(So, apparently I have the start of another series here. I will continue these thoughts in my next post...)

This Is the Post Where I Cram A Whole Bunch of Stuff Into One Post

2011-11-08T14:25:00.002-05:00

Sorry I couldn't be more creative with a post title. Really, I think it's the best description for what this post is going to be...a mish mash of a whole bunch of stuff.

I've been feeling really lazy about blogging lately. I just can't seem to get my head in the game. But, let's get started, shall we? And, remember, it's pretty random.

1. I'm STUCK in my weight loss. Part of it is my own fault. I've been using weekends as an excuse to indulge a bit more than usual. It's just really hard to eat healthy all the time. But, it's also true that I definitely feel the difference when I'm not eating as well. Anyway, I've been going back and forth with the same 3-4 pounds and I just can't seem to get past the 165 lb. mark.

2. I am still running. Well, I should clarify that I've run about a total of 4 times since I started last week. It would have been 5 times, but yesterday when I went out for my run I experienced the same problem that I experience when I...ahem...cough or laugh too hard - so much so that I turned around and came back. Thanksgiving's not that far away & running a 5K is seeming more and more of a challenge I'm not sure I'm up for.

3. Have I shown you what my kitchen/dining area is looking like since we got our new floors? I'm slowly working on some improvements.

My refinished chairs are in place. I'm still working on my parent's old dining room table. I'm almost done but keep running into set backs. I had hoped to have pictures this week. But, I'm afraid you'll have to wait a little longer. (P.S. This picture doesn't show our radiator back in place. My husband was kind enough to clean it and repaint it before plumbing it back in.)

I'm showing this picture because the lower cabinets that used to be beside the stove are now out beside the refrigerator. We need to cut the counter-top to size to fit it's new location. That project is still on hold. I also wanted to show you this because my goal is to switch the locations of the fridge and stove. Oh, and I still want to paint my cabinets...probably an off white or cream.

Woops. This picture is blurry, but here you can see our new island. I think I told you all about that here but I hadn't shown you a picture of how it looks in the house.

Also, I found these stools at a place called Burlington Coat Factory...actually they have a whole bunch of discount home goods items, clothes, etc. These were the floor model, the last they had in black so I was able to get them for a discount. You can also see that we are still living with an unfinished wall where the stove currently is. It's been that way since we did the floors.

What you can't see in this picture is that there are overhead cabinets the stretch from the stove across the island. Since the island is a true island now and you can go around all sides (as opposed to beforehand with our cabinets, they stretched all the way to the stove) I would like to take out the upper cabinets so we can actually walk around it.

4. We made & canned applesauce this past weekend. Actually to be completely accurate my husband did the majority of the work. I helped out a bit, but this was really his project. And, I'm so amazed because he can work so fast! A project that would have taken me all day and into the night took him a total of about 5 hours. And he had the boys involved!

The following pictures from the day's event will show a bit more accurately what my kitchen looks like on a normal basis....well used!

Note those upper cabinets. They really need to go.

Boys taking a break...sitting on the radiator I mentioned. My children are constantly moving around our kitchen chairs. Do yours do that?

I think we had a total of 24 quarts and 8 pints.

The man responsible for the day's success! Good looking AND good in the kitchen. What else could I ask for?

5. I hope you haven't gotten tired of my ramblings and all my pictures yet. Because I've got more. This week I made Pumpkin Yum Yum Cupcakes. If you've never had Yum Yum Cupcakes before you must have them! I will post the recipe I have for the original Yum Yum Cupcake in another post (Really, how much can I cram in one post?!)

But, this is a variation....

I'm sure that by now just about everyone has heard about the super simple recipe you can use to make pumpkin cupcakes. Take any box cake mix in your choice of flavor (I used spice) and a can of pumpkin and mix them together. And, that's it! No additonal ingredients.

The batter will be a bit stiff. Go ahead and put that into your lined cupcake pans.

Now for the Yum Yum part. Take one 8 oz. package of softened cream cheese, 1 egg, and about 1/2 cup of sugar. Beat that until smooth.

Then stir in about a cup of chocolate chips.

Dollop that mixture on top of your pumpkin mix. This recipe is actually for 24 cupcakes. But, I only had 16 liners & I really don't like cleaning muffin tins. So, I just made mine extra big. The boys appear to approve.

Bake for about 25 minutes at 350 degrees. Yum!

6. I talked in this post about the fact that I love raising my boys in the country. Well, I suppose the same holds true for my animals. What would my dog & cat do if they didn't have the ability to explore as they please? I might get some people mad at me on this one....but I don't think animals are meant to be kept inside all the time. They need some freedom. It's harder and harder for folks to do though as our homes & lives push in closer and closer to each other.

Abbey was exploring the field behind our house. Notice the black dot? She started running toward me as soon as I came out side.

And, she's still running.

Good dog Abbey!

7. My last thought for the day....My husband recently bought a tractor. No. We're not farmers and we don't live on a farm. And, yes, his dad already has several tractors (my in-laws also do not live on a farm). But, tractors are in their blood...as they seem to be for most of the men in this family. And, John really wanted a tractor of his own to tinker with. It's an old Deutz (the tractor of choice for our family). I couldn't tell you the year....50's maybe? But, my husband is just as proud as can be.

Thanks for sticking with me. I know it was an uber-long post. I hope you have a great day!

Bedtime Routines

2011-11-03T14:25:00.000-04:00

I had someone ask me a question a couple months ago about how we handle our bedtime routine with 2 boys sharing a bedroom in each of our boy rooms. I meant to answer this question ages ago. And, (as it fairly typical for me anymore) it slipped my mind until recently.

{Side note: I had to pick up a prescription today for Joseph who has an ear infection. While we were there, a dear older man was dropping off his handful of prescriptions. Almost as an afterthought as he was walking to the waiting he area he said, 'Oh that one is for the dementia.' I'm not entirely sure if he was serious or if he was just a kidder. But, it made me think 'Will I need that kind of medication someday? I sure am forgetful'.}

So, Merridith, if you're still out there, this post is for you. I'm sorry it took so long.

First of all, now that our youngest is past the stage where he's nursing or waking up at night, we have him and our next youngest sharing a room. Our oldest two share another room. Up until then, the baby would always have a room to himself. So, when our youngest was born, this meant we actually had the other 3 boys sharing a room for awhile.

We aim for bedtime to be between 8 and 8:30. The boys should all be in their pajamas with teeth brushed by 8 and lights are out no later than 8:30 (usually). I try to start the bedtime routine around 7:30 - 7:45 depending on if it's a bath night or not.

We don't do baths every night (unless they are REALLY dirty). It's more like every other night (and sometimes every 3 nights...shhhh). The most recent routine that has been working well for us is the oldest 2 taking turns in the shower downstairs while I wash the little 2 in the tub upstairs. I've also sometimes waited until the next morning to wash the little 2 after their brothers have left for school.

My children don't typically like to play upstairs. But, when bedtime rolls around they often find something to play with. So, there's a lot of dilly dallying & stalling. The big 2 are supposed to be responsible to get their own pajamas on & teeth brushed while I help the little 2 (although Charlie, who is almost 4, is able to dress himself....if he chooses to. He still likes mommy to help.)

There's a lot of need for mommy direction at bedtime it seems -
'Get your pajamas.'
'Put them ON your body.'
'Dirty clothes in the hamper please.'
'Whose pants are lying on the floor?'
'Do NOT flick your brother with your towel!'
'Why is the hand towel soaking wet?'
'Did you brush your teeth yet?'
'Let me smell your breath.'
'Go brush your teeth!'
'Your brother does not want you to sit on him.'
'No, he really doesn't. I hear him telling you to stop.'
'Why aren't your pajamas on yet?'
'Give me the toothpaste. We are not using it to draw on the counter.'

Get the idea? Yet, when Daddy puts the boys to bed, it's more like....
'Put on your pajamas and brush your teeth.'
'Good night boys.'

At least that's how it seems to me.
I'm reminded of a quote from the movie Date Night (a pretty funny movie - it's too bad they couldn't leave out the crude stuff & foul language). The Tina Fey character is talking about some of her frustrations as a mom & she says something like....And bedtime! We do it every night. Why does is always come as such a surprise to everyone?!

Once everyone has been sufficiently cleaned & dressed for bed we'll read a story or 2 of their choosing (depending on how late it is) in one of the bedrooms. We try to take turns. But, I forget whose turn it is half the time. Sometimes to make it easier I just say it's Mommy's choice. We'll wrap up stories with a reading from a children's devotional. (And, in case you are picturing a serene picture of angelic, freshly washed little boys gazing in wonder as I read, you should know there is usually one or more who is running hither and yon. And, at least 2 are fighting about how they can't see because someone's knee is in the way.)

Then I send the big 2 to their room while I tuck in the little 2. Everyone makes sure they take one more drink from their water cups. They like me to lay with them for a few minutes. So, I'll lay on the floor for bit. I pray with them. And, we'll talk for a little bit. Then, I go to the next room and repeat the tuck in procedure.

When, I head to the stairs, there is more often than not a flurry of other questions, comments, etc. coming from each room. One of those questions is almost always, 'How long until you come up to bed?' I answer as quickly as I can, say 'Good Night boys!' and run down the stairs before they can think of any more questions.

And, there you have our bedtime routine.

What does your bedtime routine look like?

I Agreed To This!

2011-11-01T13:45:00.000-04:00

I think we have all had those times when we've been asked to do something and in that moment it seems like a good idea...exciting even! Then, after we've said yes & considered what it's really going to take, we wonder what we've got ourselves into.

What? That's never happened to you? Well, it has to me on numerous occassions. And, this most recent one is a doozy (for me anyway).

On Sunday we had dinner at my parent's house to celebrate some family Fall birthdays. My sister, Lorinda, who has also recently lost weight asked me (ME!) if I would run a 5K with her on Thanksgiving morning!

Actually, it's Lorinda's friend Missy (who has also recently lost weight) who got Lorinda involved. And, Lorinda figured the more people she could get to do it, the more likely she was to follow through with it.

You know, I read these inspiring stories all the time about people who decide to make healthy changes in their life and they sign up to do stuff (like run a 5K!) that they never thought they could do before. And, they do it and it just motivates them to push through to the next challenge and the next....until they become 'a former couch potato turned athletic individual'.

This is what I had in mind when I said, 'Sure!'.

It wasn't until I came home that night that I started to think about what would actually be involved in preparing for a 5K. For a person such as myself who pretty much has a nonexistant exercise routine, there would be some, gasp, training involved.

I talked to my husband yesterday about when might be the best time for me to get out of the house without children to do this training. We agreed that when he comes home over lunchtime I could get out and do my running/walking.

Today was the first day.

I learned that I'm way out of shape. Actually, I already knew this. It was just confirmed.

But, I met my goal. I ran to my first landmark goal down the road and walked back.

I thought I'd commemorate the first day by recording how I look now. And, hopefully I'll look back on Thanksgiving Day and see some changes. (Please note I am not particularly photgenic to begin with. And, these were taken after my first 'workout' when I'm looking & feeling a little bedraggled.)

Here I am on the 1st day of November...less than a month to train!

But, I'm excited. No, really.....

I am excited!

Wait. How's this for convincing?

Wish me luck folks. I think I'm going to need it.

Back to Normal

2011-10-31T08:26:00.001-04:00

If you missed my weekend posts, the big news in these parts is that we got a major snowstorm...in October!

But, today most of the snow is melted. There is some frost on the ground & it's chilly. But, it looks more like Fall again.

We are basically back to normal....

And It Just Keeps Coming

2011-10-29T16:07:00.003-04:00

And, the October weather strangeness continues....

The heaviest snow hasn't even reached us yet. According to weather.com 6:00 p.m. will mark the beginning of the heavy snow.

Well, this weather has put the kiddos in the mood for gingerbread cookies. So, I'm off to make some now....(Maybe I can find a recipe that incorporates pumpkins. THAT would make it seem a bit like fall.)

Does Something Seem A Little Strange?

2011-10-29T11:25:00.002-04:00

It's a very strange day in October around here.

Here's the first hint why....

Here's the second hint....

Why yes. That would be snow. Till it's all said and done we could could anywhere from 3-10 inches!!! No one really knows. Only time will tell. (I would have pictures of my other boys too, but as soon as they were in their snow gear they were out the door & off to who knows where.)

I feel like I should be playing Christmas music.

Perhaps this picture best captures the oddity of the weather around here. My fall mums, my confused iris (that bloomed several days ago thinking it was spring), and snow on the ground.

A Few Thoughts

2011-10-27T14:44:00.000-04:00

Hello Everyone! It's nice to be able to access my blog and your blogs again. Yesterday my computer was having issues and would freeze up everytime I tried to load a page. It's funny how one little thing like not being able to use my computer affected my day! (Maybe that says something about how dependent I've become on the internet....but that's another subject for another day.)

A few thoughts today....

1. I talked about how to handle Halloween in this post a few days ago and in a post last year. Here are a few more ideas on the subject....

- I need to be obedient to how the Holy Spirit is leading me. If I feel uneasy or not at peace on the subject then I'd better pay attention to what God is trying to say to me. Not every Christian may agree or have the same conviction, but I need to follow His leading.

- A friend posted this link on Facebook.

It's called Sent Into the Harvest - Halloween on Mission

If you have 10 or 15 minutes you could take to read the article I highly recommend it! The gist of what it says is that Christians typically deal with Halloween in one of 2 ways, naivete (it's not really evil) or retreat (we won't participate in any way). The author, David Mathis, suggests a third option - take the offensive against the evil one and use this holiday as an opportunity to advance God's kingdom.

I liked a lot that he had to say. My only regret is that he didn't offer many practical ways to make this happen. However, today a friend was talking to me about whether or not we were going trick or treating (and we already told our boys we aren't). She mentioned that some nursing homes open their doors on that night to children and that the residents enjoy handing out treats to the children. After reading this article, I thought - what if WE brought a treat to them?

I think my husband still sees it as participating in something evil. But, to be honest this approach discussed in the article seems to make the most sense to me.

2. I am almost finished re-doing my parent's old dining room table. But, as with almost any project, I've run into some snags. I thought I'd be done with it yesterday, but my final coat of polyeurothane got messed up in a couple areas. The children say they didn't touch it while it was wet, but it really seems that might be what happened. So, John suggested letting it dry several days before sanding out the rough patches & putting on another coat. Maybe next week I'll have pictures for you?

3. Finally a funny story from earlier in this week. I shared it on facebook and I think I'll share it here too. Hope you get a chuckle....

The other night one of the boys (who shall remain nameless here) was having some major gas issues.

I asked him, "WHAT did you eat?".

"I don't know," he responded.

Then after thinking about it for a few seconds he continued, "Well, I did have four Fiber One bars today."

!!!!!!!

It Starts With Me?

2011-10-24T08:58:00.000-04:00

My spirit has fought tooth and nail against the concept that the mom sets the tone in the home. No. No. No, I say. I don't want that kind of power. I don't want to be the one to blame for the bad attitudes, the whining, the fighting, the chaos. I don't like thinking that my own flaws are reflected right back at me by my children.

Today was a rough morning with my oldest two. Of all my boys they are the ones that clash the most. Sometimes they are downright cruel to each other. And I wonder if they even like each other, much less love each other.

This morning as they were supposed to get dressed for school one of them was tossing something or swinging something too close to the other one's head. They were each yelling at the other to stop. I was in my room listening to the fight, determined not to jump in right away. Maybe they would work this out on their own.

But, as the yelling escalated and the younger of the two ended up in tears I made my move. No TV for both of them the entire week. I spoke calmly, yet firmly (I'm working on this one!) about how important it is to be kind to each other. But the consequence I doled out and my words seemed to have little effect. In each one's mind it was still the other's fault. There was no remorse, no apologies.

After the boys left on the bus, my mind went back to this idea that I set the tone. Frankly, a lot of the anger and yelling that I've been seeing in my boys does come back to me. I have often made bad choices about how I deal with my frustration and anger when my boys misbehave. Once again, the thought 'I don't want this kind of power' entered my head.

But, then a novel idea popped in. What if I use this power a mom has in a positive way? (How did this not occur to me before?) What if I purposefully set a new tone...not just in the generic 'I want to help make my home more peaceful' way. But, what if I outline specific things I will do during this next week?

Here's are the things I decided to try this week.

1. Each day I want to tell each of my boys 3 things they are doing well or that pleases me.

2. Each night before bed I will tell each of my boys another positive thing about them like, "I really like how helpful you were with your little brother today." or "I noticed that you did your chores today without having to be reminded and in a cheerful way."

3. Each night each boy will tell each of his brothers one thing he really likes about that brother or that was something good from the day like 'Thank you for sharing your toy with me today.' We tried this one a few nights ago and there was a lot of silence and 'um''s and 'I don't know''s. So this one may take some practice.

4. I will not talk negatively about my children in front of them this week. This is something I don't intend to do but I find myself doing it anyway. Oftentimes it comes in the form of me telling my husband about things that happened during the day, ways the boys were fighting, or disobeying, etc. Instead, I'm going to try really hard to build them up when talking with my husband instead of relaying all their faults.

5. I'm going to watch my tone. Another tough one for me. I'm going to work this week on keeping my tone firm yet loving. And, we're going to work on banishing yelling from our home....and that starts with me.

Please pray for me and my family as I try really hard to set a new tone in our home.

You Mean I'm Not Cool?

2011-10-21T16:47:00.004-04:00

Me: (rockin out to the Johnny Test theme song)

Edison: Mom! Knock it off!

Me: What? I'm being cool like Johnny Test.

Edison: No you're not. You're being weird like Bling Bling (Johnny's awkward friend).

There's nothing quite like having my 6 year old point out that my 'coolness' factor is comparable to that of a socially inept cartoon character.

Furniture Re-do Advice Please

2011-10-20T16:23:00.002-04:00

I recently inherited my parent's dining room table. That is to say, they were getting rid of it and I decided I'd like to keep it. My grandmother, who recently moved into a retirement home, passed her dining set on to my parents. And, thus, their table became mine.

My parents bought this table in the 70's at an auction. The table was old then. I'm guessing 40's ? It's been the dinner table all through my childhood & into adulthood when I visited my parents for meals. But, I didn't remember what it really looked like. My mom always had it covered with a tablecloth. Once I really saw it again, I loved it!

The top was rough, so the first step was sanding down the tabletop. I even bought a power sander.

My plan was/is to make the top a slightly lighter shade than the original color on the bottom to give it a 2 tone effect. The wood grain really is lovely.

As it turns out the wood grain is also a thin veneer which is chipping in places.

This one is in the center of the table where the table opens for the fold up leaf. This one is 100% my doing. I got a little aggressive with the sander and it chipped it on the edge. This is about and inch/ inch 1/2 long.

Then there are a few spots like this around the edge that I just tried to sand down a bit.

There's another spot where the veneer is chipped similar to the first picture.

I have no experience with this in my furniture re-do experience. Is there a quick and easy way to repair this? Or do I just go ahead with staining and poly and leave those imperfections for a 'rustic' look?

I'd love your advice on this one.

I Love Raising My Boys in the Country

2011-10-19T13:27:00.003-04:00

I love raising my boys in a country setting. Space to roam, fresh air, the freedom to 'do stuff' and explore.

Sometimes I get so caught up in my dream of having a property with more acreage that I miss what I have. We have a good thing going here. The boys pretty much have the run of 3 properties - ours, & 2 properties owned by my in-laws. My sister in law lives next to us (that's where we keep our garden and most of the pics are taken there) and my in-laws live in the next property down from there. Plus we have beautiful farmland behind us.

I'll admit I built this tent. I tried to get the boys involved and they helped a bit, but most of the labor was done by me.

Wyatt hanging out.

Edison found a few cherry tomatoes still hanging on our plants.

Joseph checking out the tomato plants

Edison was 'storing' the tomatoes and jalapanoes he found in a corner of the tent.

Charlie saw a caterpillar that he wanted to 'keep for a pet'

All my boys. (Wyatt said 'Wait to take the picture Mom until I get my foot on top my head.')

This area of our garden is used as a burn pile for brush, etc. after plants are done producing. It also become a boy excavation zone.

My iris is confused. It thinks it's spring.

Who needs flowers in their flowerpots? My boys planted a pumpkin seed to see if it would grow and now we have a pumpkin plant trailing out. I think it's actually quite pretty.

It's That Time of Year Again

2011-10-18T14:18:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking about this topic again. I re-read the post I wrote last year and the comments that folks left.

I even posted something on Facebook today to see where some of my other friends stand on this subject. My boys are asking again about trick or treating. But, I still feel uneasy. Based on the Facebook responses I seem alone in any misgivings I may have about Halloween.

The fact that I am uneasy, that I am not at peace with the subject should indicate to me that God is speaking to me.

But, it's hard to stand alone. Especially when it seems so harmless.

Anyway, it would be really interesting to hear your thoughts. I explained a lot more in my original post from last year, so if you have time you might want to read that.

Also, I noticed this link in one of the comments from last year's post and thought it was a very interesting article. You might want to check it out too.

I Need Your Help

2011-10-17T15:39:00.000-04:00

I saw a picture of myself on my mom's camera today.

She stopped over this afternoon after being at the elementary school for Grandparents Day in Edison's class. She was showing me pictures she took there. And, I was looking through I kept going back and saw pictures she took the previous weekend when we had stopped over at their house for a campfire cookout.

She had a picture of me sitting and holding my nephew. And, first the first time, I could actually tell that , yes, my body IS changing. I actually realized that I look slimmer.

I reached my 20 pound mark last week (since the end of July. It's actually 25 pounds since the beginning of the year). I actually fit into size 14 pants again! And, it's time to retire my size 16's. The other day I got ready to go to a mom's breakfast and I was having a clothing dilemna. But, unlike before, this time the dilemna was related to my clothing being too loose instead of too tight.

It's a wonderful feeling. I feel healthier. And, I'm enjoying my slimmer figure. I still have more to go. But, it's happening!

As thrilling as losing the weight is, I really want to stay focused on healthy eating. I want this to be about making food choices that are nutritious and beneficial to my body. And I want to pass this on to my children as well.

Here's where I need your help. I would love to know what some of your favorite nutritious and delicious meals are. So, I'm attempting my very first linky party. If you have a nutritious meal you write a post about (or have written) I'd love for you to join in.

Chick Chick Stew

2011-10-14T15:17:00.004-04:00

So I made up that little nickname for this new recipe I found. It's actually Chicken and Chickpea Stew. But, Chick Chick Stew just sounds cuter and fun for the kids, right?

Anyway, as much as I love cookbooks, I have also been loving the ability to google recipes on the internet. The other day I was trying to think of something different to do with the chicken I'd thawed for dinner. I looked through the cupboards to see what else I had on hand (it was soon time to go grocery shopping again so it was limited) and I noticed a can of chickpeas.

Now, most cookbooks don't have a cross-reference guide, so for quickly finding options based on ingredients available, the internet is the way to go. When I typed into google... crockpot recipe using chicken and chickpeas...I came up with quite a few options. Here's the one I picked.

picture from About.com

Lowfat Chicken and Chickpea Stew (as taken from About.com)

Enjoy this mildly spiced, slightly sweet chicken and chickpea stew with some whole-wheat couscous for a Middle Eastern-inspired supper, or with some whole-grain rice or noodles.
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 6 hours
Total Time: 6 hours, 15 minutes
Ingredients:
1 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 1/4 pounds boneless, skinless chicken thighs, trimmed of fat, and cut into pieces
1 large onion, thinly sliced
2 carrots, sliced on the diagonal
4 cloves garlic, crushed
1 15-ounce can reduced-sodium garbanzo beans/chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 15-ounce can crushed tomatoes
Preparation:
Coat a 3-4 quart crockpot with nonstick cooking spray. Combine spices and sprinkle over chicken thighs. Add onions, carrots, and crushed garlic to the crockpot. Lay chicken thighs on top, followed by chickpeas and canned tomatoes.
Cook on low for 6-8 hours.
One notation I would make is that this recipe does not call for any salt. I added about a teaspoon to help bring out the flavors. And, don't skip the turmeric! I almost did because I didn't have it on hand. But, at the last minute I decided to run out and get some. It added the color and the essential flavor.